Sunday Reading: The strength to love edition
I feel a little raw these days.
Not because things are bad, (they’re kind of wonderful in fact), but because holy shit, does life move fast. October is my favorite month, and also the month most likely to make me feel both reflective and nostalgic. My time in the Bay Area may be in the very beginning stages of wrapping up (like maybe in six months to a year I’ll leave) and that’s straight up weird to me. Once I moved back here (this is basically my home town) I thought I’d be in for life. Weird how that works out, huh?
I have literally never in my life wanted to own a house, but as a renter, I have to say it can be tough to live in someone else’s home who may not have your best interest in mind. I had a real reality check moment with my current landlord last week, and when I pulled my head up from my humble abode and look at the prices around me, well, my brain just about exploded. California is wildly expensive! (So then I look in other states, kinda let my eyes virtually wander the US, and it makes me feel a little crazy. Minneapolis? Philadelphia? Austin? Portland? LA? hell, I dunno, SEDONA?!) There are a lot of cool places in the world to go, but none of them have year round mild weather and an endless bounty of fruits and vegetables right at my fingertips. How does one choose their place when they are not necessarily governed by biological family? And how can we keep our chosen family close when we move every few years?
Things to think about indeed. If you have any ideas on where I should live, I would be totally happy to hear them.
NOW. Onto the links!
1) How to be a Good Bad American Girl by Anna Holmes for The New Yorker
This article focuses on two things: two of my favorite female protagonists ever, Harriet M. Welsh of Harriet The Spy and Scout Finch from To Kill A Mockingbird, and their authors Louise Fitzhugh and Nelle Harper Lee. It discusses Harriet and Scout’s relative contempt for femininity and heterosexual coupling, and their admiration and emulation of masculinity. The article says that both characters define themselves in opposition to the standard girly girls on the playground, and the grown up wealthy women in their neighborhood. The characters hate dresses, they’re loud, they stick their noses where they don’t belong.
I was incredibly intrigued by this article, because I would happily think about the subject of Harriet and Scout all damn day. BUT, I can’t quite touch my finger on this, but I found inherent sexism lurking as I read, and I couldn’t tell if that was in the article or in the books themselves. While both Harriet and Scout were absolutely stellar girls, girls I’d love to know and the kind of girls I work to be a role model to, why is the focus so distinctly anti-feminine? Why is curiosity, bravery, ingenuity, and drive portrayed as NOT feminine, either in these books or in the article? I certainly adore the celebration of a good Tomboy, but something about the writing here seemed strange. Thoughts?
2) Vegan Pumpkin Pie Cupcakes by Melissa King at My Whole Food Life
My totally awesome and beautiful friend Ariel made me my first pumpkin pie of the season last week, and I want many MANY more before the new year hits. This recipe is totally next in my queue.
3) Self-Love: Part 1, The Body by Raechel at Rebel Grrl Living
Raechel is my blogger soul sister, and like many of the things she has written, this article had me in tears.
There is something so incredibly beautiful, exhilarating, terrifying, and painful about being someone who was socialized as female living inside of a body. We are taught to fight wars with ourselves, to whittle ourselves down, to carve away at ourselves. We are taught that our bodies are simply wrong, as far as I can tell, pretty much no matter what. I’ve struggled with my thighs, my hips, my butt, my nose, my boobs, for much of my life. These things, I’ve been sure in the past were all JUST TOO BIG. and then I had the experience of shrinking, of watching the number on the scale go down, of my hips, butt, thighs and boobs disappearing (the nose was still big, not much you can do about that) and STILL I felt too, too, too…..something. Too skinny, too stupid to just take care of myself, too tired to put any effort in. The pain of the body is real, my dudes, and from where I sit today, I can say that the excitment of the body is real, too. It’s just a process. Raechel writes about this process beautifully.
4) I Have Feared White Men and I Have Loved Them by Roxanne Gay for The New Statesman
This piece really got me. The discussion of the complexities of loving different kinds of people, paired with the strong female voice….total perfection.
5) Dying to be me by Anita Moorjani at TEDx Bay Area
Maybe I’ve been on the west coast too long, but it seems to me that when people walk around hating themselves all the time, it proliferates and makes everything around you that much more hatable. This talk discusses self-love as a life or death situation, and it’s totally intense and inspiring.
Have a wonderful weekend!
I’ve been back in my hometown of Louisville. Kentucky for five years now, after nearly 10 years in NYC and I love it. So many great people, a temperate climate, a vibrant arts and culture scene, an amazing food scene, and the cost of living is low enough to be able to enjoy everything. It ain’t Southern California but there’s lots to do and it’s a great place to be self-employed. Good luck in your search for your next place!
Thanks so much! When I was a teenager my favorite record label (Initial records) was based in Louisville and I always kind of thought I’d end up there! Good to hear its still as rad as I thought it was 15 years ago!
I can only comment on Minneapolis, because it’s my hometown and I stuck around because of family and now because of community too. This city is awesome and really affordable, but you have to be prepared for the winters. If you are prepared and stay active you’ll be fine… and the spring is that much sweeter because of it! I do know people who bike year round too and don’t own cars. From the little I know from your blog, you would like it here. I just talked to a friend from Oakland yesterday (who is originally from here!) who wants to buy a house and start a family, but the whole buying a house situation sounds miserable there. You should talk to him and go see one of his shows: http://www.scottalexandermusic.com/
I totally want to check it our. How do you survive the winters? My guess is a gym membership would be helpful, and maybe a bunch of friends who live close by. The thought of biking OR driving in the snow makes me want to die though. Public transit maybe? Is there a market for vegan health and wellness coaches out there?!
I think there’d totally be a market for coaches here. There is a great vegan community, and what Raechel said below, we used to volunteer for the same animal rights organization!
I get through the winters by doing lots of hot yoga, I always ask for a package for x-mas. Really, the only terrible months are Jan. & Feb., then in March at least there is a hope of spring. A lot of people do cross country skiing and stuff too, there are tons of parks and events outdoors year round.
Public transit is decent depending on where you live, but the best areas of the city have the best transit! Car sharing programs have become pretty popular too. In my neighborhood, which I Luuuuvvvv, you can buy a really good house for under $200K. If you are ever seriously considering it, let me know and I’d for sure show you around and hook you up with some vegan/biking/couchsurfing enthusiasts.
Gal, thanks for including me in your roundup. I’m super humbled when you share my work (because, “did you ever know that you’re my hero?” ;)). I also am looking forward to reading/watching the rest when I get a chance. I can already tell that I will agree with you on the Harriet/Scout article. Anything that’s like “they’re cool because they hate “girly” things” makes me angry.
You should listen to Frugal Vegan Mom. She’s a friend and knows what she’s talking about. : ) As I mentioned, I’d love to find my way back there as well, and how cool would it be to be in the same place?! I do know that Philly has a super rad punk scene though.
You’re MY hero. If we lived in the same town we would make soup together and drink tea and paint our nails and shit. SIGH. to dream…..