For those in ED recovery on Thanksgiving
I’ll be enjoying my Thanksgiving meal in honor of my grandmother, who chronically dieted until she passed away in 2006. Every step I take toward loving my body is in her honor, because I believe it is up to me to change the dialogue the women in my family have had about their bodies being bad or wrong for generation after generation. I feed myself as if I would feed someone that I love deeply, because I believe my grandmother never felt that she could.
, and I want to say a few things to my non-gender specific siblings out there in eating disorder recovery:
- It’s okay to eat. You don’t have to do anything to justify your eating. It is okay to be a person amongst people, enjoying the food.
- It’s also okay to have limits. From pushy relatives who make comments about your body, to pushy friends who goad you to eat more pumpkin pie than your stomach has room for, you can draw a line. “Here is my boundary” you can say. You can stick to your boundary with love. Anyone you disappoint by having boundaries is likely not worth keeping around.
- You don’t have to let what other people are doing, eating, and saying touch you. Draw up an emotional shield if this is a triggering time for you. You are safe, you are protected, and I know what it’s like to be afraid on a day that is supposed to be about gratitude and I know what it’s like to overcome it. You’ve got this. I am here for you.
- Exercise shan’t be punishment for what you consume on this day, or any day. Think of your food as nourishment, and fuel and on this day, acknowledgement for this stolen land we are partying on. Don’t think of it in terms of burpees and deadlifts and sprints. Exercise is for the exaltation of release. It is for the celebration of being in your body and seeing what your body can do. Don’t make exercise something you do to be a dick to yourself. Long term, you will appreciate yourself from refraining from that mindset, I promise.
It is my sincere hope, that you are with friends and family that make you feel loved and excited to be alive. It is my wish that you can find the perfect amount of full, and that guilt and shame won’t be prominent emotions around your meals. As I’ve said a million times, recovery is about progress- not perfection. Pat yourself on the back for successes and take note of the hard moments and use them as information.
I believe in you.
Thank you for this! I’m so glad I read your words of love, wisdom, and celebration on this Thanksgiving morning. Best wishes to you and yours!
<3 I hope it was a good one!
This was an amazing post, and such an important message. The holidays are so triggering, and these are all great, healthy, attainable steps to take to protect yourself during trying times. It’s been so critical for me to divorce exercise from diet. And setting boundaries around food, something people take so personally, is tough but extremely empowering.
As an emotional eater, I have to be careful to not use the day as excuse to eat myself sick. Saying no to food that I’m not excited about, saying no to dessert or second helpings if I’ve checked in and realize I really don’t want them, is so crucial to my recovery but really hard to do when the entire holiday is built around overindulgence.
It’s important for us all to hear from each other, over and over, that it’s ok and even good to do the things that we need to for our mental, emotional and physical health, no matter the time of year, so thank you for continuing to be a voice for that.
It can be really challenging to find the line of just full enough! Mostly, this year I focused on not beating myself up when I ate a whole bunch and that worked well. Sometimes self care and gentleness goes just as far as being perfectly mindful with every bite :)